As I sit here reflecting on my journey at 47, I realise that my life is like a roller coaster—a thrilling (sometimes) ride that has taken unexpected twists and turns. Right now, I find myself navigating the challenging waters of late peri-menopause, and I want to share some of my experiences in hopes that others might find solace in knowing they’re not alone.
The Irksome Irritability
One of the most profound changes I’ve noticed is the irritability that seems to creep in uninvited. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a little fiery, but now it’s not just the occasional annoyance; it’s like a fog that descends over my mood. I find myself snapping at my kids over the smallest things—like when they leave their shoes in the hallway or shout “mummy” for what feels like the millionth time. I know that these are minor irritations in the grand scheme of life, but in the moment, my patience feels as thin as a piece of tissue paper.
I’ve learned (and trying hard) to take a step back and breathe before reacting. Sometimes I’ll even excuse myself to gather my thoughts. It’s a constant effort. I remind myself that my kids are not the source of my frustration; they’re just caught in the crossfire of my body’s hormonal upheaval.
The Heat Is On—Day and Night
Hot flashes have become my unwelcome companion, showing up at the most inconvenient times. It’s not just the heat; it’s the suddenness of it. One moment, I’m fine, and the next, I feel like I’ve stepped into a sauna. Day or night, these episodes can strike without warning, leaving me drenched in sweat and in desperate need of a cool breeze.
During the day, I’ve started wearing layers so I can adjust as needed, but at night, it’s a different story. Waking up in the middle of the night, drenched and disoriented, has become all too familiar. My fan remains at my bedside, my summer pyjamas in full use, yet I still find myself tossing and turning, praying for some semblance of comfort.
The Fog of Forgetfulness
Ah, the brain fog. This has been one of the trickiest parts of this journey. I used to pride myself on my sharp memory (albeit diminished with ‘baby brain’) and ability to multitask, but now I find myself forgetting simple things—like where I put my keys or what I was about to say in a conversation. It can be frustrating and embarrassing, especially when I’m trying to engage on a work call and I lose my thinking.
So, wherever I go you’ll find me with a notepad or making notes on my phone. Jotting down reminders and to-do lists has become essential. I also try to embrace a slower pace, allowing myself time to think and process information without rushing. It’s a work in progress, but I’m learning to be kinder to myself during this foggy phase.
Struggling with Sleep
As if the hot flashes and brain fog weren’t enough, sleep has become elusive. I long for the days of restful slumber, but now I often find myself wide awake at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling and contemplating life’s mysteries—or, more realistically, stressing about tomorrow’s to-do list.
While some nights are better than others, I’ve accepted that this might be part of the journey. I remind myself that this too shall pass, and I try to make my sleep environment as peaceful as possible (at least when Dave is away).
Finding Support and Understanding
Throughout this transition, I’ve realised the importance of having a support system. So I’m opening up to friends, family and colleagues about my struggles, and it has been a relief to hear their stories of similar experiences. Connecting with others going through this phase has been invaluable; sharing laughs and frustrations helps lighten the load.
Embracing the Journey
At the end of the day, I’m learning to embrace this chapter of my life. While the irritability, hot flashes, brain fog, and sleepless nights can be overwhelming, they are also part of a natural transition. I remind myself that this phase won’t last forever, and I’m determined to face it with resilience and humour.
So, if you find yourself in a similar boat, know that you’re not alone. Let’s navigate this roller coaster together, leaning on each other as we move through these ups and downs. Together, we can embrace the change and find our way to calmer waters ahead.
Beth XX
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